Splat the Rat

How often have you tried to splat the rat? Usually at school fundraising events, the “Splat the Rat” stall is a popular attraction. For those of you who have never heard of this, the operator drops a toy rat down a length of drainpipe and the punter tries to whack it with a stick as it emerges. I can’t remember ever being able to time it right and hit the rodent.

The lady, who cooks the evening meal for expatriates in the project, pointed out the evidence in our kitchen. “Look, tooth marks in this chip,” she said. “And here in this apple. We have a rat in the house!”

I made a mental note to have a chat to my two flatmates about the need to keep the kitchen tidy and to store food in the refrigerator. They had left for the office a few minutes earlier. I was waiting for the vehicle to take me to the clinic when I heard a scream from the kitchen. “Rat!”

The cook called the cleaner to come into the kitchen and they shut the doors. They were obviously experienced at rat catching. They pulled the refrigerator and cooker out away from the walls. One pushed a mop down one side of the cooker and the other waited with a broom handle raised, ready to hit the rat as it was flushed from cover.

I went outside and looked in through the window, just in time to see the cleaner splat the rat. She gave it a few more thwacks with the broom handle until it stopped twitching.

“Ooh, it’s a big one!” said the cook.

By Dr Alfred Prunesquallor

Maverick doctor with 40 years experience, I reduced my NHS commitment in 2013. I am now enjoying being free lance, working where I am needed overseas. Now I am working in the UK helping with the current coronavirus pandemic.

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