Spring is here. I can tell because the pigeons are getting frisky outside my bedroom window during the night. They like to perch on the air conditioner and coo. Then they scrat. It makes a terrible racket and wakes me up.

So I have started using the air con to dissuade them from hanky panky. It don’t think it will cool their ardour, but the noise might keep them away or put them off. Of course, the air con is so loud that it would probably drown out any pigeon noises anyway. I have to snuggle down under the mink blanket to keep warm, even though the thermostat is set for the cooling to start at 22C.

These are the two culprits, with their droppings clearly visible.

By Dr Alfred Prunesquallor

Maverick doctor with 40 years experience, I reduced my NHS commitment in 2013. I am now enjoying being free lance, working where I am needed overseas. Now I am working in the UK helping with the current coronavirus pandemic.

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